Tuesday, November 24, 2015

BGC: it will sting for a little while...

Failure can come when we least expect it. The dream job, awesome relationship, glamorous life which we have used as a measuring stick of our worth can all disappear overnight. We are left feeling out of sorts and in search of a new identity to hide behind.

Hiding isn't a long term solution. Eventually, we will have to come out and face the world again. There may be folks in our lives waiting for us to return so that they can remind us of their prior warnings  which we did not heed.

Yet, the sting of their well-meaning warnings will fade and we will be left with our own unprocessed shame. We will want to dive into another relationship, job, living situation, or social group.

We want to prove to the them and the world at large that we are doing better than ever.

But, in our hearts we know that the pain that we are experiencing is sharp and emotionally lethal.

It is at this time in which we must walk upon a path of long-term healing. This path will not always be pleasant because it will bring out years and maybe even decades of unprocessed emotions which can take hold over our present lives.

This pain will call up each and every misstep, rejection, and/or failure that we have ever experienced. During this time, we need to call on or perhaps even form an inner circle of healing.

An inner circle of healing can include therapists, clergy, books/podcasts/blogs, loved ones, and a journal. One of the key aspects of a successful inner circle of healing is the commitment to take action to move into a higher plane of life.

Before we can begin this process, we have to acknowledge that it is going to sting for a little while.

Monday, September 21, 2015

Your Character Is Not Up For Negotiation

You can negotiate just about anything in this world. However, be mindful that once your character comes up for negotiation...there will be trouble in your future.

Tuesday, August 4, 2015

Saturday, June 27, 2015

BGL: Creating Space For A Relationship

Contrary to popular belief, life as a singleton can actually be quite hectic. Chances are, you are a caregiver for an elderly relative or even part of a family carpool. Meanwhile, you are balancing your career and life goals.

Unlike your married and relationship entrenched peers, you have little or no help with these duties.

Instead of shirking these responsibilities, you decide to embrace them wholeheartedly. Yet, this does not leave you a ton of time for dating. In fact, the thought of dating someone makes you let out a sigh of exhaustion. You cannot imagine adding one more thing to the roster of items which you are required to perform in order to keep things spinning in your world.

But, I would like to take this time to challenge you on your "no time/no desire" for a relationship.

If you did not have all of these many family or career obligations, would you still feel the sense of dread at putting yourself into the dating pool?

I know that sometimes it is just easier to hang out with friends and family then to even ponder sitting across the table from someone and attempting to make small talk.

Tune into today for the Bougie Girl Life podcast entitled: "Creating Space For A Relationship".

Saturday, April 11, 2015

In The Midst Of The Journey...

During the past 6 months, I have been walking a journey of paying off student debt, taking better care of my health/wellness, and writing more.

As I write this, I am more contented than ever. However, during this journey I have fallen off the proverbial wagon a few times but, the difference is that these lapses were temporary. Truth be told, I did not enjoy those fast food meals at all.

Instead, I kept thinking about how much better my homemade Black Forest bacon asiago cheese organic bison slider tasted. When it came to spending, I did not fall off the wagon too much. My healthy habits yielded a 15 pound weight loss which necessitated me into buying new clothes.

I budgeted out a certain amount of money into my budget for a new wardrobe. I glanced around my bare bones apartment and decided to put money towards decorating my apartment. This has resulted in me staying home more and spending less money out.

I have made strides towards paying off debt but, I am still in the midst of the journey. Acknowledging small victories are key during this stage of the journey but, I still have to stay focused on walking the path to getting out of debt and staying healthy.

Listen to this epsiode of the Bougie Girl Coaching Podcast.


Wednesday, March 18, 2015

Know The Difference Between Settling Down And Settling...

Take time to learn the difference between settling down and just plain 'ol settling.

Settling down is making the conscious choice to put down roots because you are ready to do so and have found the right person to share your life with.

Settling is  making the conscious choice to put down roots and you are willing to share your life with the person whom happens to be in your life in the moment.

Settling down brings  a sense of peace into your life.

Settling brings you chaos and anxiety.