Tuesday, August 4, 2015

Saturday, June 27, 2015

BGL: Creating Space For A Relationship

Contrary to popular belief, life as a singleton can actually be quite hectic. Chances are, you are a caregiver for an elderly relative or even part of a family carpool. Meanwhile, you are balancing your career and life goals.

Unlike your married and relationship entrenched peers, you have little or no help with these duties.

Instead of shirking these responsibilities, you decide to embrace them wholeheartedly. Yet, this does not leave you a ton of time for dating. In fact, the thought of dating someone makes you let out a sigh of exhaustion. You cannot imagine adding one more thing to the roster of items which you are required to perform in order to keep things spinning in your world.

But, I would like to take this time to challenge you on your "no time/no desire" for a relationship.

If you did not have all of these many family or career obligations, would you still feel the sense of dread at putting yourself into the dating pool?

I know that sometimes it is just easier to hang out with friends and family then to even ponder sitting across the table from someone and attempting to make small talk.

Tune into today for the Bougie Girl Life podcast entitled: "Creating Space For A Relationship".

Saturday, April 11, 2015

In The Midst Of The Journey...

During the past 6 months, I have been walking a journey of paying off student debt, taking better care of my health/wellness, and writing more.

As I write this, I am more contented than ever. However, during this journey I have fallen off the proverbial wagon a few times but, the difference is that these lapses were temporary. Truth be told, I did not enjoy those fast food meals at all.

Instead, I kept thinking about how much better my homemade Black Forest bacon asiago cheese organic bison slider tasted. When it came to spending, I did not fall off the wagon too much. My healthy habits yielded a 15 pound weight loss which necessitated me into buying new clothes.

I budgeted out a certain amount of money into my budget for a new wardrobe. I glanced around my bare bones apartment and decided to put money towards decorating my apartment. This has resulted in me staying home more and spending less money out.

I have made strides towards paying off debt but, I am still in the midst of the journey. Acknowledging small victories are key during this stage of the journey but, I still have to stay focused on walking the path to getting out of debt and staying healthy.

Listen to this epsiode of the Bougie Girl Coaching Podcast.


Wednesday, March 18, 2015

Know The Difference Between Settling Down And Settling...

Take time to learn the difference between settling down and just plain 'ol settling.

Settling down is making the conscious choice to put down roots because you are ready to do so and have found the right person to share your life with.

Settling is  making the conscious choice to put down roots and you are willing to share your life with the person whom happens to be in your life in the moment.

Settling down brings  a sense of peace into your life.

Settling brings you chaos and anxiety.

Saturday, February 28, 2015

But, Is It Good For You?

Is the person, thing, or ideal situation that you are pining/hoping/wishing/settling for actually good for you?

Tough question. The idea and fantasy of it seems so great and yet as it plays in real time...you are finding out that it is really a nightmare of sorts.  But, the situation/job/relationship looks so good on the outside but, behind closed doors...is a different story.

You are paying a high price to keep up appearances but, what other choice do you have?

Actually, you have several choices but, the best one involves lots of courage with some strategy thrown in for good measure. Once, you realize that your current situation is poisoning you then, you have to take action to remove or at the very least distance yourself from it.

Below are some steps for distancing yourself from a toxic situation:

1. Distance yourself from your situation on social media.
In other words, stop perpetuating the whole "blissfully" happy life myth. This does not mean that you have to air all your gripes on social media but,  go the route of neutral postings.

2. Realize that other people are struggling in some aspect of their lives

3. Take baby steps towards committing to transitioning out of your current situation
Listening to podcasts is a great way to dip your foot into the transition pool.

4. Expand your social circle
Meetup.com and online forums are great for expanding your social and knowledge circle. Keep things light and go slowly as far as bringing people into your inner circle.